My connection to my children is all that I have that is real and true

Start new day with a strong heart.
Oshimaru Kung

It has been a struggle over the last twenty years to access appropriate care and services for my son who is now twenty-five.  I am a different person than who I once thought I was, or hoped to become. And my son, is not only a grown man; but he is altered in ways that I have not yet found a way to accept gracefully. The lack of acceptance is due to the disparity between what I thought and believed at one time to be true; and what I now know to be true as a result of twenty+ years of experience with the publicly-funded mental health and social service systems. Experiences with psychiatrists and mental health professionals altered what I believe about life, social justice, my Country and my fellow man. 

I can't help but continue to believe that the values I once thought were guiding principles that public institutions rely upon, are still important; I am saddened to not have evidence these principles are valued today in actual practice. My continued belief in the importance of the ethical principles of Justice are borne from my desperate hopes for my son's safety and recovery. I will do everything in my power to protect him from further harm, and to sustain my belief that there will come a day he will be safe from further harm being inflicted by the systems that have harmed him so very badly already. 

My connection to my children is all I have that is real and true.

It is what it is.  There are no words that can accurately describe my visceral pain or explain the intellectual dissonance that permeate the events my family has had to withstand. What was done to my little boy to "treat" his emotional and behavioral difficulties have caused so much harm to him; to all of us.  It is impossible to escape the negative effects of his (mis)treatment on all of us; much less, it is impossible to justify the unethical and even illegal means that were used with impunity. The Real Word Outcome for my son from the "mental health treatment" provided by Washington State's Child Welfare and mental health systems resulted in profound iatrogenic disability. 

My son's "best interests" were never a primary focus; or even considered, his needs were callously ignored. 


It is hard for me to breathe sometimes remembering.  It is even harder when I am confronted with the reality that 'mental health treatment' still consists only of the drugs that caused my son his profound iatrogenic injuries---Psychiatry's reliance on the neuro-biological disease hypothesis makes a mockery of ethical medical practice.  For my son, this "treatment" has been, and continues to be, ineffective and harmful. 

An adverse effect of a drug's mechanism of action is NOT a "side-effect." The direct adverse effects from psychotropic drugs are rarely, if ever, given the consideration necessary to realistically, or ethically assess whether the possible benefits outweigh the potential disabling, fatal risks. In Psychiatry, a primary measure of treatment effectiveness is treatment compliance; outcome is a secondary measure. If psychiatry were practiced ethically, a patient's real world outcome would be paramount.

When my son feels threatened in any way, he retreats inside himself; into his safe place. It is how he survived what were horrific conditions. I am clear in my understanding of why he does this.  It's how he coped and how he continues to cope; it serves the purpose of granting him a feeling of safety--He tells me it is how he 'works things out.'  He first started using this coping strategy when he came to the realization that he had been betrayed, and that those who were supposed to be helping him were not listening to, or helping him; but simply continuing to drug him in a maniacal attempt to prevent symptoms. No mental health professional ever addressed my son's initial trauma; every one I asked refused to even try. Mental health professionals then refused to believe their lack of compassion and respect coupled with the direct adverse effects of psychotropic drugs only compounded the harm and inflicted additional trauma on my precious son. His symptoms of anger and aggression were a reaction to what he believed were threats to his life. What my son perceived as threats, may not have been actual lethal threats, but to my son, with severe PTSD, they were lethal threats. Naturally, he fought as if he were fighting for his life---in his mind he was. It is well established that severe early childhood trauma alters how young children's brains process information; mental health professionals consistently refused to help process the initial trauma that caused his PTSD.  By misinterpreting my son's anger and aggression, they in effect, blamed a victim for his injuries.  Ultimately, my son came to believe that the "only safe place left" for him to be was inside his own head shortly after going to Child Study and Treatment Center in October of 2000.  


He wasn't safe, he wasn't respected, or protected; he was used and abused. In effect, he was traumatized and tortured--these are the words he used to describe being at Child Study and Treatment Center to me; and that's what it looked like was happening to me. I have no difficulty believing Isaac when he shares what it felt like for him. I am outraged that these experiences are, and have always been, consistently unrecognized by mental health professionals as traumatic experiences.  He was there to get help. All of us were betrayed from the beginning---ultimately, what we had been led to  believe, and what in reality happened, is totally incongruous; irreconcilable and unacknowledged for the harm it caused all of us.  As Isaac has said, "The people who were supposed to be helping me, had no compassion for me."  CSTC was not a safe place, it was not even a therapeutic place. CSTC is in fact licensed as a research facility; it is not a hospital, as I had been led to believe.  The four plus years he spent in that place are a blur of devastating inhumane treatment that he does not want to think about or remember---I can't say that I blame him. It was a place to survive, and Isaac survived.  

I'm a witness, with overwhelming grief and loss that is always with me. I am haunted by the abject terror I felt when I realized I'd been betrayed, and effectively stripped of my parental rights to protect my son and to provide parental consent for his treatment. From the beginning, I was repeatedly told I had no say in any medical decisions on behalf of my son by Jon McClellan, the unethical federally funded psychiatric researcher who is still Medical Director of the State of Washington's only psychiatric research facility for children. Allowed only to bear witness to the trauma that McClellan ruthlessly inflicted upon my precious son; the memories still manage to take the wind out of me... 


Events that all but obliterated my confidence in my fellow man, thankfully did not rob me of my family. We have been blessed; we have survived intact as a family; it is a testimony to the unbreakable bonds forged by the profound love we have for one another. Isaac has told his brother and I that it is because we know what happened to him, and have confidence in him, that he can recover. This simple statement is a testimony of the innate need we human beings have to be connected to people who love and accept us unconditionally. It is also evidence of Isaac's profound insight. I know having this fundamental need fulfilled is critical to his well-being. I'm a MadMother humbled by these events, and humbled by both of my sons' utter confidence in me. Their confidence is a testament of the power of a mother's love for her children. I hold onto hope with a tenacity that is borne out of my profound love for my sons. Isaac suffered horribly and sustained profound disabling iatrogenic injuries. I nurture my hope, so I that I may sustain Isaac's hopes when he feels discouraged and afraid. It is an honor. It is a bittersweet privilege. I sustain hope in order to validate the confidence both my sons have in me. 

I am a witness, I am MadMother still haunted from having borne witness when my beloved son was traumatized and disabled by the teratogens mental health experts called "necessary medical treatment." 

Without hope, I am a only a MadMother crushed by a cruel truth: 

I didn't rescue my son nearly soon enough. 

And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love. 

1 Corinthians 13:13

"all that I have that is real and true" first posted August 22, 2011 rewritten and reposted in April 2013

One of my Heroes

"Contempt has something in common with respect; 

much like respect, contempt can only be earned." 

A MadMother quote

Isaac on my birthday June 1990 

My son has endured mistreatment, abuse, and civil rights violations virtually his entire life at the hands of mental health professionals and child welfare workers. He has even been told he can not go swimming at the YMCA and a Yakima City pool by himself as an adult. Yakima School District gave him a half day of school from the first through sixth grade. The local DSHS office Children’s Administration staff had an attitude that can best be described as unprofessional; in truth, hateful.

Federal guidelines state a person cannot be denied federally funded Medicaid medical services by virtue of needing them for long periods, by virtue of needing them in the past, or because their condition requires a high level of care. The disrespectful unprofessional attitude of Child Welfare staff was evident from my first contact with the local Children’s Administration office and prevelant the entire time I was forced to deal with them. The first time I had any contact was when the Seattle office asked the Yakima office to make a “courtesy” home visit to a new home that Isaac and I had moved to. The caseworker who performed this "courtesy visit" stated with a sneer upon her arrival, "If it were up to me, you wouldn’t have got your son back.” My son was in the room.

The local children's Administration office referred to Isaac as, “A Seattle Dump Job.” My son, was severely behaviorally disturbed due to having been beat up and locked in a closet by a foster parent. A crime that by Law should have been reported to Law Enforcement; but was covered up by Children's Administration instead. For having the audacity to aggressively seek appropriate treatment and services for my severely traumatized child, I was given a psychiatric diagnosis; and of all the things I've been called, this one is my favorite. I was labeled with "Dependent Personality Disorder." 

I believe the State of Washington has a duty to help my son recover from his injuries. I also believe that once Isaac was victimized by a violent crime in foster care, the State was unwilling to ethically perform any duty it owed my son. The State does whatever it can, legal or illegal doesn't matter, as long as it can abdicate it's duty to those victimized in state paid care settings; and it does so with impunity.

When I brought Isaac home from foster care he was 5. I was asked, “If you can’t take care of him, why did you take him back?” by a Children's Administration Supervisor. The same supervisor, Gary Peterson, later lied about what had taken place at a team meeting held to discuss Isaac's needs; he lied about what was recommended by the treatment team for Isaac's care. Isaac's needs were unchanged, his condition had not improved; he continued to need a great deal of help. Peterson's lie resulted in services being terminated. My son was hospitalized yet again; a hopitalization that cost the taxpayers $30,000 for a three week hospital stay. The services that were terminated cost $2,200. a month.

 All of the treatment and supports that were recommended for Isaac that I begged, pleaded, and ultimately screamed about him needing; were supposed to be available under EPSDT; on paper, in the contract the  local mental health clinic had with the State, the County and the RSN, the services were available; mandated by the contract, and State Law; in reality, they were nonexistent. The services that were provided as a substitute were federally funded "Family Preservation Services" which are supposed to be used in crisis situations; and were never intended to be used long-term, and not as a substitute for providing the necessary treatment for chronic mental health conditions. The fact that Family Preservation Services were supposed to be short-term is something I was constantly being reminded of by Child Welfare staff; staff blamed Isaac and myself for his "failure to recover" (my  "failure as a parent" was merely implied) without recommended treatment. The fact is, my son and I were being traumatized by the manner in which we were treated by professionals who were failing to perform their jobs as public servants, people who in effect, worked for us...


I was ultimately forced to give custody back to the state, Children's Administration claimed it was required, that it was the only way Medicaid would pay for his ongoing care. I found out later when I was doing my research to rescue him from CSTC, this claim was in fact a lie. Isaac already had Medicaid; and there was then, and there is now, no such requirement that a child must be in State custody in order for Medicaid to cover the cost of their Medical care. My court appointed attorney advised me to sign the “consent” for an "Agreed Order" to place my son in the custody of the system that had harmed him so very badly in the first place. I wanted it put on the record the real reason, we were even there. (the failure to provide  recommended treatment and in-home services that his psychiatrist said were necessary to treat his injuries)

I found out years later, that at that particular hearing, was the only opportuntity the law allows to have entered into the Court's record my own understanding of why the State of Washington was in effect, "legally" kidnapping my son. I was never properly informed of this parental right by my Court-appointed attorney, or by the Case Worker with Children's Administration. In effect, my attorney, the Social Worker with Children's Administration, and Isaac's Team Child attorney worked together to coerce me into signing the "Agreed Order" by reassuring me it was the only "responsible" thing for me to do. They told me if I didn't sign the "Agreed Order," the State's attorney would simply claim I was refusing to act in my son's "best interest," and the Order would be granted anyway.  

I remained unaware of the how badly my parental rights were violated for years, it was not until I was researching in order to rescue my son, that I found out on my own, how badly I had been betrayed by my legal advocate.  It is my belief the reason for the charade was so that the State of Washington could defraud the Federal Child Welfare program, to help pay for the cost of Isaac's care. The State could only claim child welfare funds if he was a ward of the State. So they violated State and Federal Law and made him a ward of the State. I was robbed of my parental rights, and I was assured that I retained my parental rights to provide Informed Consent for Isaac's medical treatment. What the law stated my rights were, and the rights I in reality was allowed, are not even close... For an "Agreed Order for a Consent to Place" to be a valid legal document, is to be signed without coercion.  I was in fact coerced.  The only reason I signed it is because I was told that if I did not sign it, the State would tell the Court I was not willing to act in my son's best interest; and I was assured by my attorney that I retained my parental rights to provide Informed Consent for Isaac's medical treatment. I was lied to, I was betrayed. It is, and has been, a nightmare that is made worse by the prospect that my precious son's death from iatrogenic injuries will in all likelihood, will precede my own.

Initially, he was placed in a group home here in town for 10 months, at a cost of $5,000. a month. 4 times in those 10 months he left the group home without the staff on duty being aware he was gone. 2 of these occasions, he hitchhiked to our home, and I was legally obligated to return him to the group home; even though the staff person on duty was unaware he had even been missing! Can you imagine, the horror of being obligated by law to return your child to a place where  you know for a fact he is neglected and abused?! On another occasion, he broke his foot so severely, it required surgery to repair, and he walks with a limp to this day. After breaking his foot, he hitchhiked to the hospital and I was contacted by the ER and informed that my son was injured and that he was alone. I called the group home, and the staff on duty lied to me, telling me Isaac was asleep in his bed. The staff person was unaware he had jumped out of a 2nd floor window, and was not even at the group home. When I asked if they would please check on him so I could tell him gooodnight if he was still awake; the staff person was rude to me, and only agreed to do so when I insisted.

While the local DSHS Child Welfare office provided services when I forced the issue, the services were NEVER what was recommended for Isaac's injuries and his diagnoses of PTSD and Left Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. The system should have bent over backwards to provide the help he needed since his injuries are a direct result of the State's negligence; Children's Administration placed him in the foster home where he was victimized. He was placed in a home that had several credible reports filed with CPS asking the state to stop placing children in the home.  12 reports were in fact filed prior to Isaac being placed in the foster home, a pediatrician, a minister and the social worker that had recommended the foster parent to the state in the first place, among them.

If the local DSHS Children's Administration staff had a problem with the Seattle office, it was an administrative issue; it certainly was not grounds for the abusive and negligent manner they "provided services" to "help" my son and my family. Some of these people still have State jobs as public servants; some have been able to retire and now receive State pensions. It is not "the system" that is broken. What happened to my son was not due to a "broken child welfare system."

The initial crime occurred because state employees failed to follow guidelines. He was placed in a home that a State licencor had recommended only infants and toddlers be placed in, due to the foster parent's lack of parenting skills. Going even further the licencor alleged a child average intelligence over he age of a oddler would soon outwit her...

The fact that Isaac had been victimized was covered up by state employees who then blamed both of us when Isaac's condition did not improve. The treatment recommended by every single psychiatrist was never provided and state employees in effect said it was our fault his condition not only didn't improve but worsened over the years. Public servants who failed to act with ethical integrity and in effect, blamed a crime victim for his injuries which only adds insult to injury. Not a day has went by that I have not remembered that I placed him in foster care. I am responsible for placing him in harm's way; I don't believe it's possible for me to ever forgive myself for that fact. he was harmed because of it.

After the group home, my son spent over 4 years at Child Study and Treatment Center, the state-run psychiatric research facility for children. The picture below was taken on the grounds of CSTC and Isaac is leaning on the tree to keep himself from falling down. Heavily drugged, he would stumble and fall to the ground, much like a child first learning to walk. He is smiling in this picture, he couldn't really smile like he had before, it looked more like grimace; it's a direct adverse effect of the drugs he'd been forced to take.

He was 15 when this picture was taken:  

My son has recently felt safe enough to tell me what it felt like to be him growing up. He told me he felt like nobody who was supposed to be helping him, had any compassion for him. When he talks about the heavy doses of neuroleptic drugs, and the “side effects” which in reality, are the direct, adverse effects; in agony, he asked me, “how could they take so much from me mom?” Referring to the staff at CSTC, that had traumatized him, "over and over and over" he said, “To tell you the truth, I pity them. I feel sorry for their morality.”

Isaac was still in the custody of the state when he went to an inpatient psychiatric hospital for the first time, the month before he turned 7 years old. A few weeks later, a Children's Administration social worker purposely misinformed the court by stating that Isaac was doing well because he as receiving the services he needed at home in order to have Isaac's dependency dismissed. The case was closed, the record sealed. I had spoken with the social worker less than a week after Isaac was admitted to the hospital stating she was just finishing up paperwork and was calling to ask how he was doing. I told her he was in the hospital and that it did not look good; the psychiatrist was saying he would need to be hospitalized for a long time. It ended up being ten months.

I told her he kept talking about someone named Margaret and what had been done to him. Less than an hour later, I got a call from a Seattle Police Homicide Detective, named Don Cameron. The foster parent who victimized him was suspected of killing babies placed in her care. Just a few months prior to Detective Cameron calling me, she had apparently killed a fourth baby. Detective Cameron wanted to talk to Isaac about what had happened to him in the foster home; I was advised by the psychiatrist not to allow it. I now know following the psychiatrist's advice was a serious mistake.  I have wished at least a million times over the years that I had not listened to that psychiatrist. It is a burden knowing I took the wrong person's advice I bear it without any grace; it is another consequence of having put my son in foster care in the first place.

I had to fight for almost 2 years after the CSTC staff put on paper he no longer needed to be in the hospital, before I was finally able to bring my son home; it was less than 3 months before his 17th birthday.

Isaac lives at home with me and I am his Medicaid personal caregiver. (see The story of a background check for current info) His current assessment is inaccurate and flawed, due the fact that the assessment tool was developed to assess physical disabilities, not the cognitive disabilities that my son has. Isaac chooses to live at home and I am grateful.  I would be stupid (and negligent) to trust a system that has given me compelling reason to have no trust in it. It is a system that abdicates all responsibility when wrongs occur, does nothing to investigate crimes committed against vulnerable people it serves, and does nothing to ameliorate any harm sustained once they have been victimized.  In fact these “service systems” and some of the “public servants” employed by them, have caused so much more harm unnecessarily in their attempts to cover up ethical and criminal failures. Crimes committed both by employees of the State of Washington and by contracted service providers are not reported as required by law to Law Enforcement, and are neither investigated nor prosecuted. There is no accountability for the grievous errors made and outright abuse and neglect (and the harm done to my son) that employees of the State of Washington and contracted service providers who failed to perform their jobs ethically, or legally. It is apparent to me that some of these "public servants" have no conscience, and no compassion whatsoever for my seriously traumatized son. The chief concern continues to be to abdicate all responsibility for failing to perform their duties with integrity; and when they fail to help, to keep from harming the people whom they purport to serve.

I am utterly disgusted by State employees whose abject individual failures are minimized and dismissed by other State employees who attribute criminal failures to the fragmented and broken system. It is individuals who are failing the system, and it is individuals that are broken; not the system. The failure to hold individuals who commit crimes accountable for the crimes they commit as State employees and contracted care providers is systemic failure; but "the system" can only be as functional as the people who are employed by it. Attributing the failures to "the system" is why the system is "broken."  The failures are caused by individuals who lack the fortitude required to perform their jobs with ethical integrity. It is individuals who fail our children in the foster care system, and they will continue to do so with impunity for as long as we continue to attribute their individual failures to "the system."  The system will remain "broken" as long as we fail to hold individuals accountable for failing to perform their jobs with ethical integrity. Children will continue to be grievously harmed, children will continue to have their lives destroyed. Children will continue to be killed until the adults that we, as a society, entrust to care for them, to act in their best interests are held accountable for their negligent and careless criminal behavior.
  

It is a very conservative estimate that a million dollars of Medicaid and Child Welfare fraud was committed by Washington State to pay for my son's "care."  It is by defrauding of my neighbors and my family members that the criminal mistreatment of my son was paid for. I have no respect whatsoever for the mental health and social service systems employees who perpetrated these crimes; I have no respect for people whose  corrupt behavior and fraudulent billing practices I have borne witness to for almost twenty years.

My son has survived, a miracle many times over again. It is an honor and a priviledge to do for him those things he can not do, because of his iatrogenic injuries. It is a blessing to be a mother. I will be eternally grateful for being blessed with my children; I am proud of the adults they have become. Isaac knows that recovery is possible, because he says, "My family knows what happened to me, and they believe in me." 

Isaac deserves so much more than to simply to recover from his iatrogenic injuries, but due to the nature of his injuries, he doesn't remember what he once wanted to be; have any aspirations for a job or career, to finish school. He knows the reason he has lost some of his abilities, and knows he can regain what he has lost. I tell him he's doing great, because he is. He has no hate or animosity for the people who have caused him so much harm; to me, that is admirable. 

It is one of the many reasons he is a hero to me.  

Portions of post were first published 7-11-2011

I'm certain my soul has turned into steel...

It is difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile the impact of so-called, psychiatric 'medical treatment' on my son. The neuroleptic and other psychotropic drugs have had, and continue to have, a devastating impact on his over-all health and functioning. I don't believe it is, or ever was, right or good treatment; nor do I believe any longer that the treatment was ever intended to be for his benefit.  I am only a mother, not a doctor or social worker.  I know that harm is not 'help;' it never was.  My son's "treatment" was inhumane, it never seemed that the primary focus of any psychiatrist prescribing drugs was doing what was in my son's best interest.  My precious son, Isaac, was first a victim of violent crime; then a Risperdal victim, which caused him further trauma; ultimately, he was used in Federally funded neuroleptic Drug Trials and disabled before he was an adult...

I was never asked if I wanted to sacrifice my traumatized son on the altar of corporate greed. No one asked me if Jon McClellan could use my son as a guinea pig. Quack Master Jack said he didn't need my approval or consent, he told me repeatedly I had NO SAY, because my son was 13 and that talking to me at all was a "courtesy."  Quack Master Jack needed only his own approval when he was an co-investigator funded by NIMH in the TEOSS seeding trials. The TEOSS drug trial was conducted to support FDA approval, in order to expand the neuroleptic drug market, but failed to support the use of any of the drugs trialed. Quack Master Jack didn't have time to quack to me in order to obtain my Informed Consent for my son to be used in the TEOSS drug trials. McClellan sure didn't seem to know what human rights are or even care that he was inflicting additional trauma on a trauma victim. I wonder if Jon McClellan cares that my son describes his "care" as "torture?"  I somehow doubt that he does.

FDA AERS

Year	Death	Serious
2000	19,445	153,818
2001	23,988	166,384
2002	28,181	159,000
2003	35,173	177,008
2004	34,928	199,510
2005	40,238	257,604
2006	37,465	265,130
2007	36,834	273,276
2008	49,958	319,741
2009	63,846	373,535
2010	82,724	471,291

"Johnson & Johnson worked closely with NAMI and other advocacy groups in order 

to integrate pro-atypical information into their literature and speaking engagements."

Craig Malisow in Down the Hatch

My son is ill again, physically. This is the third time in less than a year and a half. He so rarely got sick, that it seemed like he never got sick when he was a kid...It is so very hard to accept the reality of why it is so different now. He has a much better attitude than I. He pities those who did this to him. A couple days ago, he told me, "I know I'm sick because of the drugs, and I'm ok with it." I think he was trying to make me feel better. I can't help but to be utterly and completely grief-stricken and so very, very angry. Seeing my son's health continue to decline, with no way of stopping it; I have no hope of getting anything close to adequate medical care for the iatrogenic cognitive impairment and neurological damage that the drugs continue to cause my precious son. There's nothing fucking thing right about it. 

via Nature.com
US bioethics panel urges stronger protections for human subjects
Present regulations are adequate but not optimal, report says.
Meredith Wadman 15 December 2011

"The report says that individual subjects should be compensated for their medical care if they are harmed during research, and that the government should study whether “a national system of compensation or treatment for research-related injuries” may be required. The idea is not new a new one: in 2002, the Institute of Medicine, part of the US National Academies in Washington DC, also called for compensation of research-related injuries. For some, the Bioethics Commission report does not do enough to advance the issue.

“No recommendation is made for the sponsor to pay or for the government to pay, just a recommendation to study the issue. This simply shelves the issue of compensation to collect dust,” says Vera Hassner Sharav, the president of the Alliance for Human Research Protections in New York.

"Gutmann says that the commission “unequivocally states that there is a strong ethical case” for compensation, a practice that is common to almost all other developed nations. But, she adds, “we also think it’s very important that the federal government study how best to create a system that would ensure such compensation. We want the government to get it right.” read the entire article here.

via HoustonPress

Down the Hatch: The Rothman Report
A scathing, 86-page report called out doctors who "subverted scientific integrity" for money.
Craig Malisow Wednesday, Dec 14 2011
"In its quest to quantify the collusion between Janssen and the proponents of the Texas Medication Algorithm Project, the Texas Attorney General commissioned David Rothman, a professor of social medicine at Columbia University's medical school, to produce an expert witness report. The resulting analysis, completed in October 2010, is an 86-page bitch-slap of doctors who Rothman says "subverted scientific integrity" in their rush to line their own pockets. Some highlights are listed below." read the rest here. 

I'd say, more than a 'bitch slap' is warranted...

but then, I am biased by experience... 

I'm certain my soul has turned into steel...

"Not Dark Yet"

Bob Dylan

Shadows are fallin' and I've been here all day

It's too hot to sleep and time is runnin' away

Feel like my soul has turned into steel

I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal

There's not even room enough to be anywhere

It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.

Well, my sense of humanity has gone down the drain

Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain

She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind

She put down in writin' what was in her mind

I just don't see why I should even care

It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.

Well, I've been to London and I been to gay Paris

I've followed the river and I got to the sea

I've been down on the bottom of the world full of lies

I ain't lookin' for nothin' in anyone's eyes

Sometimes my burden is more than I can bear

It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.

I was born here and I'll die here against my will

I know it looks like I'm movin' but I'm standin' still

Every nerve in my body is so naked and numb

I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from

Don't even hear the murmur of a prayer

It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there. 

God help me...help me to help my son. Amen

first posted 12-16-2011

photo credit 

Washington State's Attorney General, Rob McKenna Protects Perpetrators Instead of Victims

First published September 7, 2011 

Girls who were sexually assaulted at two psychiatric facilities in Washington State were not protected by Child Protective Services. In both instances, Mandated Reporters failed to report repeated sexual assaults of two teen-age girls, as required by law.

Child Study and Treatment Center

The facilities where these sexual assaults occurred are Child Study and Treatment Center, the State of Washington's psychiatric research facility for children and adolescents, above left; and Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center pictured below. In both of these facilities staff who had a duty to report to Law Enforcement and to Child Protective Services did not, and when these events were finally investigated none of the staff who failed to report, were held accountable.

Children's Hospital

In both cases the perpetrators were risks known to hospital staff. Both perpetrators had sexually assaulted other girls in the facilities, prior to assaulting the girls this blog post is about. In neither  case were any mandated reporters prosecuted for the gross misdemeanor crime of failure to report; and no one lost their job.

My son was at CSTC when these the rapes at CSTC occurred. It was apparent to me on visits that Anthony Grant was preying on the girls---I repeatedly complained to staff. I was told he needed, "more training;" later I discovered this inappropriate response was being made by the same staff psychologist who managed to get Angel to recant...which allowed Anthony grant to remain on staff, to rape another girl. story here

The girl who was assaulted at Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center was assaulted by another patient who had sexually assaulted another patient a year before. The second assault was caught on video; but after watching the video, the staff member erased it. The crime was not reported to the Police, and the victim did not receive immediate appropriate medical attention. In fact, the crime was not reported until the victim complained about ongoing abuse from the perpetrator---who had been put in a room right next to the victim! Supposedly, here in Washington State, destroying evidence of a crime is a crime; and Failure to Report to Law Enforcement and CPS the sexual assault of these girls is a gross misdemeanor. When CPS does eventually "investigate," it's findings were inconclusive?! I'd be willing to bet the perpetrator in the second case is a Ward of the State and identified as a 'Sexually Aggressive Youth' which meant the State failed to provide protection against KNOWN threats in both cases.

via The Seattle Times:

"For several days, until the girl found the courage to report the assault to staff, the boy passed her sexually suggestive notes, came into her room while she slept and asked to have sex, and forced his way into the restroom to proposition her, according to the CPS findings and the girl's parents."

"It was then that the girl told staff, who called CPS. Police were also contacted, and the boy was charged in Seattle Municipal Court with one count of assault and one count of communicating with a minor for immoral purposes."

"Despite the apologies, the girl's parents say they still are confused. They learned in a letter from Children's that a videotape that had recorded the assault in the conference room had been reviewed by Anne Moore, the unit manager, but had then been erased. And it wasn't until about 12 months after their daughter's assault — after CPS had been made aware that another girl on the unit in the summer of 2006 said the same boy assaulted her — that CPS conducted a full investigation." here.

In both cases, Psychiatric Hospital Staff failed to protect their patients from a known threat; which is what both perpetrators were after the first incidents. ONE Victim of sexual assault was not enough to fire the Staff member at the State's Psychiatric facility for children. A video tape of a crime was not enough for Staff at Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center to act on a traumatized victim's behalf. No staff members lost their jobs for failing to report a sexual assault as required by law. Every one of them had a duty to protect and were negligent, and failed their duty to these girls, whom they had a duty to protect.

Things that trouble me greatly about both of these cases: Both perpetrators were allowed to plea to lesser crimes, even though both had known prior victims...Staff members were aware of the danger the perpetrators posed to the girls. In both cases, reports were filed ONLY after the traumatized victims came forward themselves. Psychiatric professionals failed to reach out to sexually traumatized victims; and I cannot wrap my mind around that---it is not acceptable, it is criminal.

I can only conclude that prosecuting crimes committed against vulnerable children is not a priority for Rob McKenna, our Attorney General. What other explanation could there be for mandated reporters working in the only State Psychiatric facility for children, Child Study and Treatment Center and at the world renown, Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center not being prosecuted for the Gross Misdemeanor Crime of failure to report? Rob McKenna failed as well.

It is individuals who work for the people of the State of Washington who failed these girls. It is not the system that fails our vulnerable children and adults. The idea that 'the system' is failing; or is broken is an notion that has allowed individuals who are negligent in the performance of their duties, to be rewarded with impunity for their complicity. Individuals who fail to report crimes, and fail to defend children and vulnerable adults to whom they owe a duty, are culpable in the crimes they fail to report, and should be held accountable in a Court of Law, by the Attorney General who also owes these victims a duty. Child and Adult protective services, "The System," cannot be fixed without holding those entrusted to watch out for children and vulnerable adults accountable when they are criminally negligent. Failure to hold State employees and other contracted professionals the public pays to work with vulnerable children and adults accountable increases the State of Washington's potential liability; one would think this would be incentive for the State of Washington to act proactively in behalf of children and vulnerable adults.

Some of the people who failed my son, Isaac, have since retired with pensions. Attorney General, Rob McKenna failed to even do a cursory investigation, not even a simple interview in response to the criminal complaint I filed on my son's behalf. This tells me that Rob McKenna protects perpetrators much more zealously than he protects children or vulnerable adults who are victimized by state employees or agents of the state. 

Trauma Can Cause Symptoms of Mental Illness

2003

He is bracing himself on the tree, and trying to smile---

I can't really tell you what it was like to see my son at 15 and 16 years old stumble to the ground like a toddler---because he was so drugged---or how horrifying it was leaving him in a place I dreamed of hiring mercenaries to rescue him from...and the obvious---well, let's just say one of the hardest things I've had to learn to deal with---is how unkind and not fully human people can be.

Psychiatric Drugs As Agents of Trauma

Dr. Charles Whitfield's article concludes that trauma is the cause of most symptoms which are used for psychiatric  diagnoses of mental illnesses, alcoholism, and addiction. The symptoms are treated with psychotropic drugs almost exclusively; in spite of the lack of empirical evidence to support this Standard Practice. Which begs the question, is it even an ethical standard of care being used by psychiatry?  How did using psychotropic drugs to treat symptoms  become standard for any condition or symptom without empirical support?  I would say it is definitely not ethical, therapeutic or medicine in the Hippocratic tradition.  The focus is solely on an attempt to control symptoms; even if the patient does not believe it is a "need" to  control the identified symptoms...

We knew what the primary cause of his PTSD symptoms was; why mental health professionals refused to provide the recommended treatment that was in their own practice parameters; or even listen to us. he professionals used brain damaging drugs in their futile attempts to control behavioral symptoms. Doing so, they committed Medicaid fraud; but worse that that, the treatment repeatedly traumatized and eventually disabled my precious son. My beautiful son Isaac had an IQ of 146 at the age of seven; and today at twenty-four, cannot do the things he did at the age of seven...

My son was as a victim of horrific abuse in foster care and as a result, had trauma-induced PTSD; he also has Left-Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, which is caused by a traumatic head injury.  Instead of the recommended treatment, he was repeatedly traumatized by pseudo-medical mental health treatment. His longest hospitalization was for over 4 years where a psychiatric researcher, Jon McClellan, further traumatized him and disabled him in the TEOSS drug trials. It is illegal what he did to my son; forcing drugs upon him, over my protests. Jon McClellan used my son like a guinea pig in Washington State's only state-run psychiatric facility for children, Child Study and Treatment Center. Quack Master Jack is a "lead researcher" for childhood schizophrenia; and the Medical Director of CSTC; the man had no right to play God, he had no right to use my son in the way he did.  The effects of trauma were ignored, minimized, or misidentified as symptoms of whatever diagnosis was subjectively determined to need the massive amounts of teratogenic drugs to "treat" it. Permission, i.e. "Informed Consent," was not needed; Jon McClellan needed only his own permission apparently.  The deleterious effects of the drugs on the patient; irrelevant.

Dr.Whitfield used data from over 300 studies; in writing this article.  Some are the same ones I had read and used in my futile attempts to advocate for my son.  I can assure you, there truly are circumstances when there is no comfort in being right.  Using data from, "the work of numerous psychiatrists and psychopharma-cologists" and his own experience in private practice, Dr. Whitfield provides the evidence supporting his conclusions; he additionally explains, "most common psychiatric drugs are not only toxic but can be chronically traumatic."  Dr. Whitfield's article in, "The International Journal of Risk and Safety in Medicine" concludes that trauma, and the PTSD symptoms which result, are often misdiagnosed; the symptoms are almost always treated exclusively with drugs. Dr. Whitfield states for some people, this "medical treatment" traumatizes them further; exacerbating, instead of alleviating their distress.   (I have noticed in ten+ years of doing research, research like this that questions, or is not supportive of drugging symptoms of distress is seldom published here in the US)

Both my son and I have been saying he was traumatized, not treated.  Quack Master Jack, Jon McClellan lied to me; and failed to follow legal and ethical standards; his "medical treatment" mainly consisted of using my son as a guinea pig trialing drugs that were not approved for pediatric use. Drugs not approved for use in children, some of the drugs were not approved until years after my still traumatized son no longer was a child; some still are not approved for children.  Neuroleptic drugs are known to cause brain damage, heart damage and be potentially fatal.  "Off label" means experimental use, according to the FDA.  He never obtained Informed Consent; in fact, he claimed, he didn't need it.

In the Psychiatric Summary from May of 2004, which is in a previous post, he implies that my son was taking the drugs "willingly."  The report in this same post, is from 2001, the year my son turned 13 and the age of consent law is one of the excuses this "researcher" used as an excuse to not need my consent.  Given the condition my son was in, there is no way in hell anyone, even a young child, would have thought Isaac had the capacity to give consent.  Quack Master Jack knows that both he and other staff members told my son if he did not take the drugs; he would never get to leave the hospital.  To be Informed Consent, there can be no coercion, my son could have assented, but was in no condition to provide "Informed Consent" just because he was thirteen!   My son had no choice, as an adolescent in a locked facility, he naturally wanted to leave, and if you want to leave, you have to do what you are told.  I was forced to pretend to buy this thug's diagnosis and "treatment" in order to have any chance in hell of rescuing my own son.  Jon McClellan's care was obviously heavy on the (drug)study, negligent, fraudulent and abusive in the extreme.  Isaac has said he thought he was kidnapped; and I have no problem understanding why he would have thought or believed this.  Jon McClellan ignored the Hippocratic Oath, the US Constitution, the Ethical Guidelines for Informed Consent and the Nuremberg Code in the "treatment" he inflicted upon my son.

"Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm." 

Hippocrates 

Read Dr. Whitfields article here...
Originally posted  January 16, 2011 "Can Trauma Be A Cause of Mental Illness?"

The Brain Damage Neuroleptic Drugs Cause

Patients were being poisoned.
Patients who said they were being poisoned,
were labeled with "paranoia."

This post was first published on May 24, 2011, I posted this the morning that I met the psychiatrist who is my son's new doctor, for the first time. My eldest son, my brother, and I met with the doctor first thing in the morning. I had asked my brother to come to appointments with us because I feel as though my concerns about the obvious marked decline in my son's over-all health are ignored. I believe that it is beneficial to have a support person present. One who has no psychiatric diagnosis and has an education in science , and more importantly, one whose primary concern is Isaac's best interest. I have to confess, the fact of the matter is, I was also afraid that my anger at this "dorktor" would cause me to lose my composure---I had no reason to believe this meeting would be any different than any other meeting with a dorktor of psychiatry who has "treated" my son. What I mean is, I anticipated being disrespected by this dorktor and expected he would also be unwilling to give honest answers to questions that we asked him. I was disappointed that my expectations of the dorktor's professional demeanor were validated in this meeting.

All of three of us have had serioious concerns about the adverse effects the neuroleptic and  other psychotropic drugs continue to have on Isaac's over-all well being. These effects are manifested in a marked decline in Isaac's physical health, his cognitive functioning, and his over-all well-being. This hospitalization, like the one last July, was precipitated by Isaac becoming seriously physically ill with a bacterial infection--which coincidentally, could cause a person without a psychiatric diagnosis to become disoriented and confused... My son has iatrogenic brain damage and is not aware when he is becoming physically ill; he is unable to perceive if/when he is hot or cold; when he's in pain, he cannot discern where the pain is coming from. These are COMMON effects of neuroleptics, called 'antipsychotic' drugs. I do not consider these 'side effects' as this is a term used for extra effects for a drug which is actually treating an identified pathology, or correcting an identified dysfunction . The neuroleptic drugs have never "effectively treated" my son's symptoms; they have caused profound iatrogenic harm however.

I actually thought that the dorktor wouldn't lie to my brother. My brother is an astrophysicist, he still naively believed I might be exaggerating the callous disregard shown my son, and myself. I am not exaggerating. I have never had a respectful, fact based, e.g. ethical, conversation with any psychiatrist  who has prescribed neuroleptic and other psychotropic drugs to my son. The psychiatrist we met with was treating my son, and he is the Medical Director of the mental health facility. The man actually implied he may not 'allow' me to see my son, and offered no reason when I asked why he would imply such a thing?! I told him he lacked understanding. I informed him there was no way in hell I would go into any proceeding and speak on my son's behalf without speaking to him and setting eyes on my son. Period. I believe the reason for his initial refusal to "allow" us to see my son, is because he did not want us to see the devastating impact his 'treatment' was having on my son.

We went to meet with this quack with an agenda: We wanted to know what we can do to prevent further iatrogenic harm... NOT once have these concerns been validated by any of the psychiatrists who have prescribed drugs to my son--ever. I am talking several psychiatrists over more than a decade---not one of them has been thoroughly honest and forthright about the risks; most seem willfully blinded to the iatrogenic injuries they cause. As a result, my son is medically neglected. My son has had Tardive Dyskinesia and Akathisia since he was thirteen... 

My brother was blown away by what he learned that morning. We went in there with an agenda: Isaac's heart damage, brain damage and neurological damage that is becoming more and more apparent. This "doctor" had no first hand knowledge about Isaac, or myself. He is unaware that I write this blog; being unaware, he had no way of knowing I had written about an article in APA's newsletter discussing the brain damage neuroleptic drugs cause--just prior to meeting with him. So, when this dorktor in a condescending tone told me while shaking his head, "the drugs don't cause brain damage," I wanted to sock him right in the mouth. He told me this lie three times. When I told him I didn't believe he was being honest with me; he got pissed off, and demanded that I, "must respect him!" The best I could do to fulfill this unrealistic request, was to walk out of the meeting.

Nathan and my brother, Mark, continued talking to the dorktor. After a few minutes, I returned to hear my brother voice our concerns calmly and respectfully, he then asked the "doctor" this question, "What can we do to help Isaac to feel safe?" (He was terrified to be there---bad things have happened to him on psychiatric units) His question was ignored totally. So, my brother asked him again; he was ignored again. 

I was so thoroughly disgusted, it took everything I had not to spit in this quacks face---a wicked thought; but there it is. I told the quack, in fact I demanded that he stop the twice a day B-52 (Haldol Ativan combo)shots immediately. I told him he had no right to drug my son and risk further brain damage so recklessly, and to have done so without speaking to any one of us, who have his Medical Power of Attorney was unethical. He stated that he was not obligated to consult or speak to anyone when prescribing additional teratogenic drugs to my son, because the Involuntary Treatment Laws negate entirely this form of Legal Protection for Involuntary patients... I told him I expected him to respect my authority, and pointed out to him that this was an ethical matter. I told him I didn't care what the Law said, he needed to respect my request. It simply is not moral or ethical to exclude a patient's chosen proxy who is legally appointed. I insisted that he did not have permission to give my son another B-52 injection; period. 

Amazingly, he complied---the next day the nurse called to report Isaac was doing much better; I brought him home the following day.

It was not until this hospital stay that a nurse asked me how long has Isaac had Tardive Dyskinesia? I told her that it never had been diagnosed, but that he has had it for years. I have told every doctor starting with the lead research quack at CSTC, Jon McClellan when he was still a kid. I noticed the involuntary movements and recognized them as the tell tale sign of permanent neurological damage being done, known as Tardive Dyskinesia-(video) I had read about it in the scientific literature, but my concerns for my son have always been summarily dismissed. The significance of her next comment did not truly register until later. While we were talking, she commented, "oh here it is, I see it noted in his chart." 

via: The Psychiatric Times:

Jeffrey Lieberman, a psychiatric researcher, a member of the APA, (and a researcher colleague of Quack Master Jack, Jon McClellan in the TEOSS drug trials) is quoted in the Psychiatric Times article, Brain Volume Shrinkage Parallels Rise in Antipsychotic Drug Dosage "The reduction in brain volume in schizophrenia occurs not because brain cells die off but rather because dendrites shrink and dendritic spines shrink, causing shrinkage in the synaptic connections in the cortex, explained Jeffrey Lieberman, M.D., another schizophrenia researcher not affiliated with the Iowa study.

“That's why in people with schizophrenia, thinking becomes more stereotyped, routinized, and concrete,” said Lieberman, a professor and chair of the Department of Psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons and director of the New York State Psychiatric Institute.

“They don't have the elaborate richness of synaptic connections to allow for the cognitive and intellectual processes to occur,” he said in an interview with Psychiatric News. 

So, this "psychiatric researcher" wants me to believe that how the brain damage is manifested matters more than the fact that it is iatrogenic?!---Lieberman seems to be trying to convince readers that 'brain shrinkage' is not 'the problem;' THE PROBLEM is the lack of synaptic connections that are a consequence of the brain shrinkage!?! As if whether it's the brain shrinkage itself, or the fact that synaptic connections can no longer be made, really fucking matters!!! The drugs have caused my son to lose cognitive and intellectual abilities. He was victimized, not medically treated; I assure you that is what matters. My efforts to protect my son were treated with derision and ridiculed by the "professionals."   The cavalier attitude of psychiatrists about the iatrogenic injuries they inflict upon their patients is disturbing; it is also obviously criminal. 

In the TEOSS Drug Trials 12% of trial participants were reportedly effectively treated; 2 died and who knows what the Real World outcomes are for the others who were enrolled. There are two different figures for the number of children who participated in the TEOSS trials; some authors report 116, while others report 119. The American people paid for TEOSS, and continue to pay for the vast majority of neuroleptics prescribed both on, and off label. 

I've only found one update, a case report on one other kid who was in the TEOSS trials---I would think given the cost and the disappointing results, the TEOSS data needs to undergo an independent review. One would think that the raw data collected would be available five years after a Federally funded drug trial has ended! One would think the latest investigation into psychotropic drug use in Medicaid children would find the TEOSS trials germane to the investigation... Neuroleptic and other psychotropic drugs are teratogens; and while the drugs may be effective for a small minority of people with psychosis, why are teratogenic drugs being prescribed off label without any evidence to support the prescription?

I can honestly say that it doesn't matter to me if it is the brain shrinkage or that connections in the synapses can no longer be made. What matters to me is that my son and I were never informed, or given any choice...I was not ALLOWED to protect my own child; I was stripped of my Constitutional Rights as a parent to act on my son's behalf by an unethical psychiatric researcher who acted with impunity and assumed an authority he had no ethical or legal right to assume. Jon McClellan broke State, Federal and International Laws---that is a fact. Jon McClellan, told me I had no say---repeatedly---apparently, "lead researchers" do not need INFORMED CONSENT; the coerced assent of children in locked psychiatric wards who are told they will never be allowed to leave if they don't take the drugs like a good guinea pig is all that's necessary when one is a federally funded clinical research psychiatrist.

My son should have never been given any neuroleptic drug---he was and is a trauma victim. He deserved respect, compassion, and protection. Instead, my son was denied the protection of his mother, and the protection of his Individual Rights under the Constitution. My son was blamed for his injuries, slandered and stigmatized then stripped of his innate intelligence; all of which further traumatized him. The "treatment" in reality, was Human Experimentation; not valid medical treatment. Calling it "treatment" is a misnomer, it was forced upon him, without any alternative or escape; a kid forced to participate in unethical pseudo-medical research, an effort to gain FDA approval of some of the neuroleptic drugs for use in children. TEOSS was a seeding trial.

How did this "benefit" my son? Not at all.

Psychiatry, as I have experienced it does not tell the truth about the nature of psychiatric diagnoses or about the risks of taking psychiatric drugs. Doctors have a duty, "First, do no harm..," Professionals who "practice medicine" without integrity, violate a sacred trust. Medical treatment is not supposed to be "done to" a patient, as it was in my son's case. Ethical medical treatment requires that treatment be provided for a patient's benefit first, and foremost and always--especially for children. 

Some members of the American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry are failing to uphold the Hippocratic Oath, and are not even paying lip-service to the Ethical Principles and Guidelines for the Protection of Human Subjects of Research, these practitioners have seriously damaged the integrity of the medical profession. Researchers have knowingly substituted purposely biased incomplete data for ethically collected data and corrupted the Science-Based Medicine evidence base, careless of the damage and suffering caused by their selfish unethical behavior. 

In my opinion, the article in the APA's newsletter is an attempt to justify "Standard Practices," that are not supported by the scientific evidence base, do not correct dysfunction, and are not therapeutic for many psychiatric patients. When this treatment is forced, coerced or prescribed without Informed Consent being first ethically obtained, and permanent impairments, dysfunction and early death result; it is a Human Rights crime.

How can anyone believe it is ethical to not share the known risks openly and honestly? How can it possibly be justifiable to give children whose brains are still developing these drugs at all? How can these drugs actually be in widespread use when parents are not being fully informed about the serious risks AND without significant certain benefits which would justify the serious risks? It can not be justified ethically and certainly should not be tolerated, accepted excused--or legally required.

What totally gets me is I can not get any medical professional to refer my son for a neurology or a neuro-psychiatric exam; or the annual EKG he is supposed to have. It should be the part of his psychiatric care program (I would think) to have the iatrogenic conditions caused by the psychiatric drugs to be attended to. 

via psychrights Evidence for the Neurotoxicity of Antipsychotic Drugs Dr. Grace Jackson Affidavit 

retro drug ad found at Bonkers Institute

A MadMother In Pro Per

"pro per" adj. short for "propria persona," which is Latin for "for oneself," usually applied to a person who represents himself/herself in a lawsuit rather than have an attorney.

This is the report I wrote and served upon The State of Washington in Dependency Court in Yakima County Superior Court.  I was pleading for my son's release from Child Study and Treatment Center; a place I had been misinformed was a hospital; it is in fact a research facility. CSTC staff had documented that my son Isaac no longer needed to be at CSTC; but there had been no effort to move him.  I also served the state with a copy of the Home Care Plan I had developed based on what hospital staff recommended; even though I did not agree with the recommendations.  For one thing, staff insisted that 24 hour awake supervision was necessary; my first thought was, "how in the hell would I be able to sleep?  What the heck would a paid staff person do while everyone was sleeping?!" For this, and many other reasons, I believed the CSTC staff's recommendations were unrealistic, ill-informed, and cost prohibitive. I later discovered none of these professionals had ever sent a child disabled by iatrogenic injuries; i.e. physician caused drug-induced neurological and cognitive impairments.Prior to my son being released from CSTC to come home as the State's permanency plan always stated, CSTC had not ever discharged a seriously cognitively impaired kid home to live with their family. Why CSTC staff pretended to know how to do ssoemthing they had never done, remains a mystery.

CSTC's staff claimed that the recommendations were based upon their professional experience. The only thing staff knew to do, is the only thing staff had done in the past; that is, discharge patients to a residential care facility. In the little over a year between my having the below petition served on the state, on my own attorney, the GAL, and the court, and Isaac finally returning home, I found he Washington State Legislature had commissioned a literature review study to determine what setting and services were in the best interest of children and adolescents with serious behavioral difficulties like my son Isaac experienced. Specifically the study was to determine what kind of treatment services gave children, youth and their families the necessary support to succeed. The conclusion was children and youth were best served by assisting their families to take care of them in their family home since it is cost effective, i.e. less expensive, kids and families have better outcomes. Incredibly, the study concluded, the kids had fewer relapses and required fewer inpatient hospitalizations.  The study was done at the request of Washington State Legislature and cost $50,000.  The work itself was conducted on the same campus where  CSTC is located in Lakewood, Washington.  The study was staff claimed, unknown to them entirely; and never used by the professionals who insisted institutional, residential care was required for Isaac's care upon release from the state's pediatric psychiatric research facility.

When I asked why the research relevant to the discussion was not used, I learned CSTC staff were unaware of the study.  I then asked what studies, or standards the recommendation was based on? The answer: none. Not one staff member could provide any supporting evidence for it's professional recommendation for Isaac's post-discharge care. Adding insult to injury, CSTC staff claimed staff member's professional opinions had no bearing or any potential to influence the state's decision on placement of my son as a state ward. Truthfully, it was CSTC staff who first questioned the permanency plan that had been on every single Court Order from the time Washington State wrested custody away from me falsely claiming placing Isaac in  state custody was required for Medicaid to continue to pay for his medical care...I found out years later this claim was not true, the only benefit of making my son a state ward was that once he was a state ward, the State was able to defraud federal child welfare and Medicaid programs by claiming he had no family. It is against Federal Law to make a child a state ward to compel federal programs to reimburse states for a larger percentage of a child's medical care, residential care costs, it is fraud. CSTC staff were insistent that their recommendation of discharging my son to a Residential Care facility was the only option. Not once in the four plus years Isaac's was at CSTC had the staff tried to alter the state's permanency plan. It was only when I personally forced CSTC into putting in writing my son no longer needed to be at CSTC that staff members attempted to offer it's "professional opinion" on Isaac's custody. The fact is, CSTC staff had been aware throughout Isaac's incarceration at CSTC, the permanent plan on every single dependency Court Order was for Isaac to return home. This permanency plan was only disputed because CSTC staff balked at the idea of Isaac returning home to live. CSTC staff insisted that discharge to a residential care facility was the only viable option---I discovered staff recommended Residential Care since discharging brain damaged kids to such facilities was the only thing CSTC staff had experience doing in real world practice; not because staff had thoroughly investigated what may best serve Isaac's needs, nor did staff include either Isaac or myself in developing their professional recommendation for meeting Isaac's ongoing care requirements.

I wrote the report below and shad it served upon the State in February of 2004. Everyone, including my court-appointed attorney were served by a Process Server.  I was later told, "they never saw you coming."  My son finally came home on January 5, 2005.  At 660.90 a day, the year and a half my son was incarcerated at CSTC when he no longer needed to be, cost the taxpayers $361,842. There were kids waiting to be admitted the entire time; there always is.  Kids waiting to be admitted, just like my son waited---for over a year---from the time his psychiatrist informed Yakima County's children's resource manger Isaac needed long-term psychiatric inpatient treatment. The children's resource manager did nothing to facilitate my son's admission to CSTC for six months.

Isaac was admitted to CSTC when he was twelve and a half year old boy...

I brought him home a couple months before he turned seventeen.

When my son returned home in January 2005, the in-home services were provided by Catholic Community Services out of Pierce County which is across the State; the local mental health clinic CWCMH, refused to provide the services.  The services were much appreciated and were provided by wonderful people.  They were more than what was needed; as I had predicted.  We used the in-home care services for six months---before we determined that tolerating inappropriate, unnecessary services in order to have needed respite available, was too stressful.  The fact is, as I had maintained all along: respite care and appropriate therapeutic rehabilitation services are all we needed; these are still what we need.

The director of Yakima County Human Services, Steve Hill, and the DSHS Region II Children's Administrator, Ken Nichols, failed to do their jobs in an ethical manner. These two public servants failed to perform their ethical duties as public servants; their failure cost the people of the State of Washington over $300,000.; and unnecessarily deprived my son of his liberty for nearly two additional years.  A civil penalty of $1,000. a day is attached to such egregious deprivations of an individual's liberty. The penalty upon the individual, regardless of employment status, including publicly funded work for a government entity; it is a civil penalty that applies to every individual whose actions and/or whose failures to act cause a person to be deprived of their liberty in any locked facility. for those who are incarcerated, individuals are deprived of liberty if they remain incarcerated after serving their sentence. In the case of a people in locked psychiatric facilities, once staff have determined the person no longer requires treatment only available at a psychiatric inpatient hospital or in the case of Child Study and Treatment Center, a psychiatric research facility.  

CSTC had unethically obtained a Court Order in Pierce County Superior Court to Involuntarily Commit my son while simultaneously issuing bi-monthly progress reports to the Yakima County Children's Administration, Yakima County Human Services, GCBH RSN, and Yakima County Superior Court at dependency review hearings that Isaac would be better served in the community, i.e. he no longer needed to be hospitalized. I believe the court order for Involuntary Commitment was sought in Pierce County to prevent me following through with my statement that I could take him home since he was a voluntary patient. This appeared to be perceived as a threat by CSTC staff, particularly by Leah Landis, the psychologist for the unit Isaac was on. The woman actually referred to the kids as "our children" as if the kids belonged to CSTC, in her attempts to persuade me to not actively advocate for my son's release, asking that I at least wait until  "the studies" were completed.  When I asked for clarification, i.e.what studies Ms. Landis was referring to, I was told that because Isaac was a ward of the state, I didn't have the right to know what studies he was enrolled in, my consent, informed or otherwise was not asked for or needed I was repeatedly told by the Medical Director, Jon McClellan.

The fact of the matter is, until Pierce County Superior Court granted the Court Order which allowed CSTC to involuntarily treat my son, I was the only person besides Isaac, who had any legal authority to provide Informed Consent for his treatment at CSTC according to Washington State Law and federal Medicaid guidelines and protection for Human subjects research. In spite of this, the medical director of CSTC, Jon McClellan, a psychiatrist and federally funded psychiatric researcher, repeatedly told me I had no say in treatment decisions. In fact, Jon McClellan maintained he did not need my consent for my son's psychiatric treatment the entire time my son was an inpatient at CSTC; the research facility I had been led to believe was a hospital...

Conflicting claims about Isaac's need for inpatient treatment were maintained for months by CSTC staff in Washington State Superior Courts in two counties. Yakima County was informed that Isaac as ready to be discharged, while Pierce County granted a Court Order for extended involuntary treatment. Obviously, it's not possible he met the legal requirement for a involuntary inpatient treatment and that he was also  ready for discharge from inpatient treatment...The Pierce County Court Order in effect, "legally" deprived me of my parental rights to make decisions about his treatment, although I had effectively been deprived from the beginning of Isaac's stay at CSTC by Jon McClellan. I believe the Court Order was sought to prevent me from following through on my stated intention, take my son home. The court order made taking him home a felony crime. The court order was illegal---evidence of the order's illegality is contained in the written reports that CSTC staff issued every two months stating Isaac no longer needed inpatient psychiatric care, the entire time the court order was in effect...

9-15-2013

Post script: The report I submitted to the court in 2004 states that Isaac got the "recommended treatment;" more accurately, he was hospitalized, as his psychiatrist recommended. The years between Isaac aging out of the ATTACH day treatment program at age six in 1994, and going to CSTC in 2000, he went without day treatment and intensive in home services which were consistently the recommended treatment, but the method of treatment was never actually prioritized; or even available. Day treatment is a priority according to RCW 71.24.035 section 5b; it is a "priority" that is required to participate in the Federal Medicaid program. The mental health services required by the Early Periodic Screening Diagnosis and Treatment for a child's emotional and behavioral difficulties are clearly prioritized within the Revised Code of Washington and Washington State's Administrative Code; and required by numerous contracts between the Federal Medicaid program, the State Medicaid program, the Greater Columbia Behavioral Health Regional Support Network; Yakima County Department of Human Services, and the community mental health service providers, but never available for children and youth. Day treatment, and other EPSDT services for children are still unavailable to this day...  

I first posted my report on December 29, 2010

judge graphic credit Legal Juice