taken by Isaac in March of 2011I am the mother of two wonderful adult sons. My youngest son has needed intensive mental health services since he was in preschool. At this time in our lives, my children were in the State of Washington's foster care system due to my own mental health issues...it is what it is. Isaac was placed in a home where he was severely traumatized and that was when his need for mental health services started.
It has been a long road for our family, and I am so very lucky to have my sons, and feel that being their Mom is the best thing that has happened to me.
I started writing my blog, Involuntary Transformation on September 4, 2010. That was the day that "it" hit me like a ton of bricks. "It" was the fact that crimes committed in which my son was the victim; were never going to be investigated by the State of Washington. In spite of the struggles over the years in attempting to get appropriate and recommended treatment for Isaac; I had held onto the hope and the belief that justice would not be denied my precious son. I do not know that I no longer believe it possible so much as I have come to know that whether justice is served or not; what is important is that we, have as a family have come through some very painful experiences intact. It is this, above all else, that gives my life meaning and value.
Isaac's need for the psycho-social and cognitive-behavioral therapy recommended for his complex PTSD was ignored; and worse, were substituted with Family Preservation Services. This is a program that is meant to prevent out of home placement---it is not anything like what was recommended, but it was what was provided along with "med management" for years. I can not tell you what it is like to have a child need treatment which is denied to be given drugs which did not help. Drugs that did not "treat" the symptoms of the complex PTSD; drugs which caused further trauma. The PTSD which was caused by being beat up and locked in a closet by a foster parent when he was three.
Ultimately, my son spent much of his childhood being further traumatized by the Child Welfare and the public Mental Health service system which medicates symptoms of distress and symptoms of trauma, whether it helps or not; and then blames victims who do not get better. The failure to get better is the result of lack of proper therapeutic treatment!
For the first (and hopefully only) time in my life, in the summer of 2010 I did not believe in and could not feel the presence of my creator within myself. I could not believe that forgery, perjury and psychiatric assault were committed victimizing and further traumatizing my son and that none of these felony crimes would be investigated. My now adult son cannot effectively defend, protect or advocate for himself due to the cognitive damage from neuroleptic and other psychotropic drugs prescribed off label and without Informed Consent which were then illegally billed to Medicaid. My son was victimized when he sought help at the local Crisis Center run by Central Washington Comprehensive Mental Health seeking to be hospitalized, and there was not going to be anything done about it. No criminal investigation, no charges filed for the multiple felony crimes committed; no Justice served.
Until last summer, I had not told our story in a public forum because Isaac did not want me too. After the events at the end of July and the beginning of August, he said it was now alright to share his story. My thinking was that I can make no one do a damn thing, believe me, I've tried. I can tell the world what was done to my son; what continues to be done to children, adults and families who seek help for emotional and behavioral issues and receive mental health care. Psychiatry practiced in this manner is not right, is not therapeutic, and practiced like it still is in of my son’s case, psychiatry further traumatizes a trauma victim. It is not ethical, moral or even legal. Psychiatry in my experience, is not an ethical medical practice.
I am a mother. I am a warrior if need be, for my children. My son spent more than half of his childhood in psychiatric inpatient facilities---and was ultimately used in Drug Trials, without consent in spite of my vehement protests. The Medical Director of Child Study and Treatment Center gave my son virtually every neuroleptic drug made concomitantly with other psychotropic drugs and repeatedly told me that talking to me at all was done as a "courtesy." Jon McClellan claimed that I had no say in what he was doing! He ignored Federal, State and International Law; e.g. the Nuremberg Code and the World Medical Association Declaration of Helsinki Ethical Principles for Medical Research Involving Human Subjects. Jon McClellan acted as if he had special authority, and this "research psychiatrist" did not conform with the law, or the Ethical Guidelines for Informed Consent of the American Medical Association when he drugged my child into a state of profound disability. I know now, none of the drugs Jon McClellan prescribed were approved for pediatric use; nor were many of the drugs precribed even approved treatment for the psychiatric symptoms he prescribed the drugs for. I am so very aware how fortunate I am that my son survived Jon McClellan’s “treatment” at all.
If my life, and what was done to my son and my family means anything at all, it's meaning for me must be derived from sharing what I have learned, and working to keep it from happening to anyone else. I must share what I've learned to hopefully spare another family the same pain filled experiences. None of us will ever 'be the same;' Isaac's health continues to decline, which makes life bittersweet. I am grateful to know the truth.
I am even more grateful that Isaac has confidence in me; because he knows that I always believed him, when he shared what happened to him and how he was harmed. He knows that I respect and have confidence in him. My son’s confidence and trust in me are the most precious of gifts. The trust and confidence of one’s children are the most treasured assets any parent can ever have.