Isaac is trick or treating with his best friend. I am so utterly happy. It has been more than a week since I could encourage him to leave the house for anything longer than briefly. I have been worried about it. I know that he has good instincts and knows himself better than anyone. But all of us humans are creatures of habit. Finding balance in various aspects of our lives is something we all must do to be happy. He does not like being around people, especially crowds, he says. Given some of his experiences, I can't say that I blame him.
I am so happy that his friend reached out to him today--Isaac is in many ways more grown up than a lot of the adults I meet. But, he has missed many childhood experiences and he feels a sense of loss because of this awareness. I tell him it is perfectly fine for him to have the desire to have these experiences now. In fact, I believe it is wise of him to do so.
The power of God is preeminent and I attribute this blessing to the prayers of all of us who have been praying for my son's healing and happiness. All of the time God is good. I am so aware of how I have been carried.
4 comments:
I know how happy you must be. It is so wonderful when someone their own age reaches out. Isaac sounds like a fine young man.
Rossa,
Isaac's best friend is actually a 13 year old that we have known since he was a baby. This kid is awesome and Isaac has always had a strong connection to both him and his little sister. It is so awesome to see him be the grown up and also a reminder that his childhood and his development was drastically altered by how much time he spent in institutions.
I cannot help but focus on the positive, which does not mean that I don't think, "what if?" but, too much time spent on that is just morbid reflection--wasted time and energy.
Becky
You're absolutely right about wasting time on morbid reflection. It hurts me and it hurts him.
The longer your son is out of the institution the less child like he will be. That being said, it is also a gift. My son is very good with younger children, which is funny, because he was such an old soul that when he was a child everyone thought he was more mature than he was. We all assumed it. For the longest time, after his crisis, he seemed to be regressing to an infantile state, and he was. He had to go back into his childhood, which he missed out on by not being there (he was physically present but mentally, we learned, he was elsewhere) and he had to analyze every little aspect of it. He started to phone up friends he hadn't seen for years and apologize, for what, I'm not sure, but it appeared to be a way for him to make sense of his past. He has been leaving the child like state behind, but it does take time. So, maybe with your own son, it wasn't just the institution but also something innate within him, that will eventually resolve itself.
I am sure you are right. Isaac's insight is tremendous and he is not childlike in many of his observations about himself and the world. His gift to see events and their context from the perspective that he has is such a profound gift to witness. People often mistook Isaac for being older due to his intellect and his size--he is a large man. His brother is almost five years older and Isaac was less the 2 inches shorter from the time he was around 8 or 9 and has a larger frame.
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