I remember when...

I was remembering that it was not all that long ago that I said and meant I wish to be free of my anger. This is still true. I am at a loss at the moment how to effectively do that.  I know it isn't some magic formula.  I have moments hen I wonder if anger is always a secondary emotion. Until recently, I thought anger only follows experiencing a primary emotion grief, pride, envy, etc. Now I wonder if it's possible that anger can also be a primary emotion.  I realized as soon as I'd written that last sentence, my anger has been driven by fear. So it is as I was taught, anger is a secondary emotion.

My fear is for my sons and myself; in fact, for all of us.  I know that what we, as a family, have been through is not unusual. Knowing this does nothing but increase my fear, and strengthen my resolve to take a stand. To do less is not an option given what we have survived and have come to know.

"I believe we must speak our conscience in moments that demand it, even if we are but one voice."

Richard B. Sanders

"God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right, even though I think it is hopeless."

Chester W. Nimitz

"Whenever a doctor can not do good, he must be kept from doing harm."  

Hippocrates

I know that there has been a serious gap between what was supposedly done for my son by mental health and social service providers. The care provided was not "done for" my son's benefit, or even in his best interests. Services were based solely on what was available, my son's actual treatment needs were not the focus. Mental health "care" and social services were done to, not FOR my son.  I am his mother and I bear witness to the outrageous abuse and medical neglect that my son has endured. Due to the countless times my son's human rights have been violated by professionals who have acted with impunity, I'm on constant guard.

I am not only not okay with these facts; I am not okay with the fact that my son, as a young man, continues be at risk, and can be harmed by professionals who act with impunity.  Knowing that crimes need to be reported, I report them.  I do so on behalf of my son, since he cannot defend himself or file complaints. As his mother I wonder, how much does he need to be burdened with? Specifically, how much does he need to be reminded that he was deceived, and taken advantage of by professionals who were paid with Federal funds to help him, that instead stripped him of his rights, and caused him a great deal of harm?  The manner in which services are "provided" by professionals with an ethical and a legal duty to protect my son's best interests and his individual rights; effectively strip him of his human dignity and his human rights and violate both his Substantive and Procedural Due Process rights as a matter of course.

I remember  when...I learned about the individual rights that have been denied my son virtually his entire life...
I wonder if I would have tried to have more fun as a kid if I'd have known how little I'd have as a grown up?