Friday Funny: John Habkirk's jokes

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."




Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. 
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." 
"I don't believe you," says Dolly. 
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.." 
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." 
"Is it common?" 
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent...

Why do cats purr? 
For the same reason transformers hum: they don't know the words.

hat tip John Habkirk